"Braxton!" Song
Shy Khan
✭✭✭✭✭
An ode to the Big Book #1, Captain Braxton (triggered by the crew at Timelines Talks).
Braxton
Who do they think they are? WRG has messed with the wrong card! No one says "no events” to Braxton!
Ducane
Heh heh. Darn right
Braxton
Dismissed! Rejected! Banned for 72...er... 24 Hours! Why, it's more than I can bear!
Ducane
More beer?
Braxton
Who am I, @Automaton_2000? I'm disgraced!
Ducane
Who, you? Never! Braxton, you've got to pull yourself together...
Gosh, it disturbs me to see you, Braxton
Looking so out of your time
There’s gonna be not one but three yous, Braxton
So that’s why we’re singing this rhyme
There's no crew aboard as admired as you
You’re Voyages number one guy
For long trips there’s no one desired as you
And it's not very hard to see why
No one's clicks like Braxton
BeGold Picks like Braxton
No one's primary number three six like Braxton
For there's no time traveler half as scary
Predestined for a paradox
You can ask Tom or Tuvok or Harry
And they'll tell you how badly he screwed up their clocks
Crowd
No one's led like Braxton!
Been stopped dead like Braxton!
Ducane: No one's got a brush broom on his head like Braxton!
Braxton: My croniton signatures fluctuating!
Crowd: My, what a guy, that Braxton
Give Seven “hurrahs!"
Give Nine "hip-hips!"
Ducane
Braxton is the best
Though he’ll blow up your ship!
Crowd
No one fights like Braxton
Overwrites like Braxton
No one violates temporal rights like Braxton
Girls: For there's no one as good in command eng
Braxton: In Gauntlet I’ve got quite a pair
Ducane: He’ll travel through time for his revenge
Braxton: That's right! I must kill off Janeway and her beautiful hair
Crowd
No ones miffed like Braxton
Or time shifts like Braxton
Ducane: No one blows up in temporal rifts like Braxton
Braxton: I'm especially good at Re-integrating!
Crowd: Just in time for trial, Braxton!
Braxton
Back in my day, I captained a ship
Traveling through space and time
And after a break down, I still captained a ship
From the century called twenty nine!
Crowd
No one stalls like Braxton
Less recalls with Braxton
Ducane: No one falls over crewmen in halls like Braxton
Braxton: My temporal psychosis is temporary!
Crowd
Say it again
Who's a man among men?
What crew can we make ours
Cause we have his polestars?
Who is super obsessed
With Janeway? Can't you guess?
Ask Stars, Idol and Automaton
Just scroll up, have a look, at the top of Big Book
Ducane
And his name's B-R-A-X--
B-R-A-X-T--
B-R-A-X- is there a C in there?
Crowd:
Braxton!
@Captain Idol
Braxton
Who do they think they are? WRG has messed with the wrong card! No one says "no events” to Braxton!
Ducane
Heh heh. Darn right
Braxton
Dismissed! Rejected! Banned for 72...er... 24 Hours! Why, it's more than I can bear!
Ducane
More beer?
Braxton
Who am I, @Automaton_2000? I'm disgraced!
Ducane
Who, you? Never! Braxton, you've got to pull yourself together...
Gosh, it disturbs me to see you, Braxton
Looking so out of your time
There’s gonna be not one but three yous, Braxton
So that’s why we’re singing this rhyme
There's no crew aboard as admired as you
You’re Voyages number one guy
For long trips there’s no one desired as you
And it's not very hard to see why
No one's clicks like Braxton
BeGold Picks like Braxton
No one's primary number three six like Braxton
For there's no time traveler half as scary
Predestined for a paradox
You can ask Tom or Tuvok or Harry
And they'll tell you how badly he screwed up their clocks
Crowd
No one's led like Braxton!
Been stopped dead like Braxton!
Ducane: No one's got a brush broom on his head like Braxton!
Braxton: My croniton signatures fluctuating!
Crowd: My, what a guy, that Braxton
Give Seven “hurrahs!"
Give Nine "hip-hips!"
Ducane
Braxton is the best
Though he’ll blow up your ship!
Crowd
No one fights like Braxton
Overwrites like Braxton
No one violates temporal rights like Braxton
Girls: For there's no one as good in command eng
Braxton: In Gauntlet I’ve got quite a pair
Ducane: He’ll travel through time for his revenge
Braxton: That's right! I must kill off Janeway and her beautiful hair
Crowd
No ones miffed like Braxton
Or time shifts like Braxton
Ducane: No one blows up in temporal rifts like Braxton
Braxton: I'm especially good at Re-integrating!
Crowd: Just in time for trial, Braxton!
Braxton
Back in my day, I captained a ship
Traveling through space and time
And after a break down, I still captained a ship
From the century called twenty nine!
Crowd
No one stalls like Braxton
Less recalls with Braxton
Ducane: No one falls over crewmen in halls like Braxton
Braxton: My temporal psychosis is temporary!
Crowd
Say it again
Who's a man among men?
What crew can we make ours
Cause we have his polestars?
Who is super obsessed
With Janeway? Can't you guess?
Ask Stars, Idol and Automaton
Just scroll up, have a look, at the top of Big Book
Ducane
And his name's B-R-A-X--
B-R-A-X-T--
B-R-A-X- is there a C in there?
Crowd:
Braxton!
@Captain Idol
Come join the Steeler Nation Fleet!
20
Comments
Gaston’s Song
Hey, Braxton, outta time
Outta time and lost your mind,
Hey Braxton! ::clap clap::
Hey Braxton! ::clap clap::
Oh Braxton, your so fine
You're on voyages all the time,
Hey Braxton! ::clap clap::
Hey Braxton!
You're trav'lling through time,
Been doing it so long.
You think you'll make things right,
But ev'rything goes wrong.
Well, can't you kill Janeway
So we can all go home, Braxton?
Cause when A leads to B
Then B must lead to C
Then paradoxically
A comes again, you see?
Every time you'll be
A temporal detainee, Braxton!
Oh, Braxton, what have you done, you don't understand
You'll never perpetrate all the plots that you have planned.
Oh Braxton, you're just no fun, can't you understand?
It's guys like you Braxton!
Oh, what you do, Braxton, do Braxton!
Don't fall apart, Braxton!