noun
1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.
2. a literary composition, in verse or prose, in which human folly and vice are held up to scorn, derision, or ridicule.
3. a literary genre comprising such compositions.
Let's not take it too seriously folks!
Ten Forward Loungers - Give Your Best, Get Our Best!
Don't mark it closed. It is so much fun. It shows the ridiculousness of dismissing for honor and bears out humor and smiles for everyone though great creativity. There is no insulting or bad things going on here. I say keep it up. No one is required to read this thread.
But as stated in the community guidelines we are required to be nice (edited to reflect what the community guidelines actually say) and thinking of ways for Wesley to die...not to nice, at the very least it should be moved to the holodeck.
Dear Mr. Jesus Is Lord,
I am attaching a copy of an entry I made on the first page of this thread to attempt to show you what you are missing in your interpretations of this thread. As you will no doubt conclude, your focus on the end result of AEC conversion is limited and short-sighted; this thread is about forcing ALL captains in this galaxy to realize that every decision they make regarding excess crew is cruel, heartless, cold, and unethical. Standing on a misguided pillar of morality is hypocritical, and if you insist on being upset about any of this, aim it where it belongs and not at this thread, where a bunch of us captains are attempting to use humor to cope with the trauma DB is imposing on us as we mercilessly slaughter our own crew for materialistic gain (ie "honor"). Please do not lobby to take away our only outlet for coping, your energy and effort would be better spent advocating for DB to offer us a humane alternative like an excess crew retirement home or something.
"
=====SCENARIO #1=====
Prisoner Michael Burnham: "Thank you for the rescue, I look forward to being a productive member of your crew."
CAPTAIN: "Actually, you are being 'dismissed'. I need Honor to buy a new shiny, and dismissing you is considered honorable apparently."
Prisoner Michael Burnham: "Can we talk about this? What does this process entail anyway?"
CAPTAIN: "No one can say for certain, but most experts believe it involves shoving people out of an airlock into the vacuum of space. I'm sure you'll be fine."
Prisoner Michael Burnham: "Well actually, that is not only 100% fatal but is an excruciatingly painful death."
CAPTAIN: "Oooh, tough break! Now, will you kindly stand in here for a moment?"
=====SCENARIO #2=====
CMO Bashir: "Boy, am I glad to see a crew of friendly faces, it's been quite an ordeal out here in the vast expanse waiting for rescue."
CAPTAIN: "It is an honor to be able to rescue someone of your great historic significance. Is there anything we can get for you?"
CMO Bashir: "Well I hesitate to ask but I have been out here a long time. I have lost all my equipment and could really benefit from as much training as you can spare, I fear my knowledge and skill have eroded while awaiting rescue."
CAPTAIN: "Absolutely, standby, we will bring you everything you asked for."
CMO Bashir: "Thank you so much Captain, it feels tremendous to have all my equipment back, and to know I am once again fully trained! I'm ready to return to duty, what are your orders, Sir?"
CAPTAIN: "I need you to come with me to this giant industrial freezer."
CMO Bashir: "Oh dear, was somebody injured in a freezer accident? Do we suspect hypothermia?!"
CAPTAIN: "No, I am going to freeze you forever in here. I'm sorry Doctor, but if I keep you frozen in here forever I can get a handful of dilithium and having you in here will make all my other medical people 1% better at their jobs."
CMO Bashir: "This is appalling!"
CAPTAIN: "Your objection is noted and should you accidentally be released from the freezer someday you are certainly able to file a grievance, but for now won't you be a good sport and come with me, please?"
=====SCENARIO #3=====
Acting Ensign Wesley Crusher: "That temporal anomaly is intense, I was in there with six other Acting Ensign Wesley Crushers! Thank you for the rescue BTW."
CAPTAIN: "Shut up, Wesley! I need you to stand on this transporter, your destiny is to become 43% of a one star science experiment."
Acting Ensign Wesley Crusher: "Why are you doing this?!"
CAPTAIN: "Would you rather spend eternity in a freezer or get shoved out an airlock? At least this way you will be making a contribution, your sacrifice will be noble and meaningful. Besides, I went to the Academy with a couple officers from the Enterprise D who were not at all happy with working for 8 years to earn their posting only to be replaced by an uppity, know-it-all, punk kid. I kind of owe those folks, so if you don't mind...."
Acting Ensign Wesley Crusher #2: "Oh geez, well I hope they turn me into a bowl of gagh."
Acting Ensign Wesley Crusher #3: "I'm sure they will, this new Fleet Commander Martok seems to need quite a few of them, they are only available from the KCA shop, and everyone's shuttles are needed elsewhere for the current event!"
"
I hope this has provided you with the clarity you deserve, and will help you understand why we need this thread. Thank you for participating in our discussion, and we hope that after some contemplation and reflection, you will join our ranks.
Don't mark it closed. It is so much fun. It shows the ridiculousness of dismissing for honor and bears out humor and smiles for everyone though great creativity. There is no insulting or bad things going on here. I say keep it up. No one is required to read this thread.
But as stated in the community guidelines we are required to be nice (edited to reflect what the community guidelines actually say) and thinking of ways for Wesley to die...not to nice, at the very least it should be moved to the holodeck.
Dear Mr. Jesus Is Lord,
I am attaching a copy of an entry I made on the first page of this thread to attempt to show you what you are missing in your interpretations of this thread. As you will no doubt conclude, your focus on the end result of AEC conversion is limited and short-sighted; this thread is about forcing ALL captains in this galaxy to realize that every decision they make regarding excess crew is cruel, heartless, cold, and unethical. Standing on a misguided pillar of morality is hypocritical, and if you insist on being upset about any of this, aim it where it belongs and not at this thread, where a bunch of us captains are attempting to use humor to cope with the trauma DB is imposing on us as we mercilessly slaughter our own crew for materialistic gain (ie "honor"). Please do not lobby to take away our only outlet for coping, your energy and effort would be better spent advocating for DB to offer us a humane alternative like an excess crew retirement home or something.
"
=====SCENARIO #1=====
Prisoner Michael Burnham: "Thank you for the rescue, I look forward to being a productive member of your crew."
CAPTAIN: "Actually, you are being 'dismissed'. I need Honor to buy a new shiny, and dismissing you is considered honorable apparently."
Prisoner Michael Burnham: "Can we talk about this? What does this process entail anyway?"
CAPTAIN: "No one can say for certain, but most experts believe it involves shoving people out of an airlock into the vacuum of space. I'm sure you'll be fine."
Prisoner Michael Burnham: "Well actually, that is not only 100% fatal but is an excruciatingly painful death."
CAPTAIN: "Oooh, tough break! Now, will you kindly stand in here for a moment?"
=====SCENARIO #2=====
CMO Bashir: "Boy, am I glad to see a crew of friendly faces, it's been quite an ordeal out here in the vast expanse waiting for rescue."
CAPTAIN: "It is an honor to be able to rescue someone of your great historic significance. Is there anything we can get for you?"
CMO Bashir: "Well I hesitate to ask but I have been out here a long time. I have lost all my equipment and could really benefit from as much training as you can spare, I fear my knowledge and skill have eroded while awaiting rescue."
CAPTAIN: "Absolutely, standby, we will bring you everything you asked for."
CMO Bashir: "Thank you so much Captain, it feels tremendous to have all my equipment back, and to know I am once again fully trained! I'm ready to return to duty, what are your orders, Sir?"
CAPTAIN: "I need you to come with me to this giant industrial freezer."
CMO Bashir: "Oh dear, was somebody injured in a freezer accident? Do we suspect hypothermia?!"
CAPTAIN: "No, I am going to freeze you forever in here. I'm sorry Doctor, but if I keep you frozen in here forever I can get a handful of dilithium and having you in here will make all my other medical people 1% better at their jobs."
CMO Bashir: "This is appalling!"
CAPTAIN: "Your objection is noted and should you accidentally be released from the freezer someday you are certainly able to file a grievance, but for now won't you be a good sport and come with me, please?"
=====SCENARIO #3=====
Acting Ensign Wesley Crusher: "That temporal anomaly is intense, I was in there with six other Acting Ensign Wesley Crushers! Thank you for the rescue BTW."
CAPTAIN: "Shut up, Wesley! I need you to stand on this transporter, your destiny is to become 43% of a one star science experiment."
Acting Ensign Wesley Crusher: "Why are you doing this?!"
CAPTAIN: "Would you rather spend eternity in a freezer or get shoved out an airlock? At least this way you will be making a contribution, your sacrifice will be noble and meaningful. Besides, I went to the Academy with a couple officers from the Enterprise D who were not at all happy with working for 8 years to earn their posting only to be replaced by an uppity, know-it-all, punk kid. I kind of owe those folks, so if you don't mind...."
Acting Ensign Wesley Crusher #2: "Oh geez, well I hope they turn me into a bowl of gagh."
Acting Ensign Wesley Crusher #3: "I'm sure they will, this new Fleet Commander Martok seems to need quite a few of them, they are only available from the KCA shop, and everyone's shuttles are needed elsewhere for the current event!"
"
I hope this has provided you with the clarity you deserve, and will help you understand why we need this thread. Thank you for participating in our discussion, and we hope that after some contemplation and reflection, you will join our ranks.
Sincerely,
Bylo Band
I do admit that in the beginning it was sort of funny, but it wasnt all aimed at Wesley. Kudos for thinking of the original idea but after a while i start feeling bad for Wesley. Ill just post one more thing before i (try my best) to stop commenting and raining on your parade, if Whil Weaton were to come to the stt forums and see this thread, what do you suspect he would think and feel? Place yourself in his shoes...
Don't mark it closed. It is so much fun. It shows the ridiculousness of dismissing for honor and bears out humor and smiles for everyone though great creativity. There is no insulting or bad things going on here. I say keep it up. No one is required to read this thread.
But as stated in the community guidelines we are required to be nice (edited to reflect what the community guidelines actually say) and thinking of ways for Wesley to die...not to nice, at the very least it should be moved to the holodeck.
Dear Mr. Jesus Is Lord,
I am attaching a copy of an entry I made on the first page of this thread to attempt to show you what you are missing in your interpretations of this thread. As you will no doubt conclude, your focus on the end result of AEC conversion is limited and short-sighted; this thread is about forcing ALL captains in this galaxy to realize that every decision they make regarding excess crew is cruel, heartless, cold, and unethical. Standing on a misguided pillar of morality is hypocritical, and if you insist on being upset about any of this, aim it where it belongs and not at this thread, where a bunch of us captains are attempting to use humor to cope with the trauma DB is imposing on us as we mercilessly slaughter our own crew for materialistic gain (ie "honor"). Please do not lobby to take away our only outlet for coping, your energy and effort would be better spent advocating for DB to offer us a humane alternative like an excess crew retirement home or something.
"
=====SCENARIO #1=====
Prisoner Michael Burnham: "Thank you for the rescue, I look forward to being a productive member of your crew."
CAPTAIN: "Actually, you are being 'dismissed'. I need Honor to buy a new shiny, and dismissing you is considered honorable apparently."
Prisoner Michael Burnham: "Can we talk about this? What does this process entail anyway?"
CAPTAIN: "No one can say for certain, but most experts believe it involves shoving people out of an airlock into the vacuum of space. I'm sure you'll be fine."
Prisoner Michael Burnham: "Well actually, that is not only 100% fatal but is an excruciatingly painful death."
CAPTAIN: "Oooh, tough break! Now, will you kindly stand in here for a moment?"
=====SCENARIO #2=====
CMO Bashir: "Boy, am I glad to see a crew of friendly faces, it's been quite an ordeal out here in the vast expanse waiting for rescue."
CAPTAIN: "It is an honor to be able to rescue someone of your great historic significance. Is there anything we can get for you?"
CMO Bashir: "Well I hesitate to ask but I have been out here a long time. I have lost all my equipment and could really benefit from as much training as you can spare, I fear my knowledge and skill have eroded while awaiting rescue."
CAPTAIN: "Absolutely, standby, we will bring you everything you asked for."
CMO Bashir: "Thank you so much Captain, it feels tremendous to have all my equipment back, and to know I am once again fully trained! I'm ready to return to duty, what are your orders, Sir?"
CAPTAIN: "I need you to come with me to this giant industrial freezer."
CMO Bashir: "Oh dear, was somebody injured in a freezer accident? Do we suspect hypothermia?!"
CAPTAIN: "No, I am going to freeze you forever in here. I'm sorry Doctor, but if I keep you frozen in here forever I can get a handful of dilithium and having you in here will make all my other medical people 1% better at their jobs."
CMO Bashir: "This is appalling!"
CAPTAIN: "Your objection is noted and should you accidentally be released from the freezer someday you are certainly able to file a grievance, but for now won't you be a good sport and come with me, please?"
=====SCENARIO #3=====
Acting Ensign Wesley Crusher: "That temporal anomaly is intense, I was in there with six other Acting Ensign Wesley Crushers! Thank you for the rescue BTW."
CAPTAIN: "Shut up, Wesley! I need you to stand on this transporter, your destiny is to become 43% of a one star science experiment."
Acting Ensign Wesley Crusher: "Why are you doing this?!"
CAPTAIN: "Would you rather spend eternity in a freezer or get shoved out an airlock? At least this way you will be making a contribution, your sacrifice will be noble and meaningful. Besides, I went to the Academy with a couple officers from the Enterprise D who were not at all happy with working for 8 years to earn their posting only to be replaced by an uppity, know-it-all, punk kid. I kind of owe those folks, so if you don't mind...."
Acting Ensign Wesley Crusher #2: "Oh geez, well I hope they turn me into a bowl of gagh."
Acting Ensign Wesley Crusher #3: "I'm sure they will, this new Fleet Commander Martok seems to need quite a few of them, they are only available from the KCA shop, and everyone's shuttles are needed elsewhere for the current event!"
"
I hope this has provided you with the clarity you deserve, and will help you understand why we need this thread. Thank you for participating in our discussion, and we hope that after some contemplation and reflection, you will join our ranks.
Sincerely,
Bylo Band
I do admit that in the beginning it was sort of funny, but it wasnt all aimed at Wesley. Kudos for thinking of the original idea but after a while i start feeling bad for Wesley. Ill just post one more thing before i (try my best) to stop commenting and raining on your parade, if Whil Weaton were to come to the stt forums and see this thread, what do you suspect he would think and feel? Place yourself in his shoes...
I would like to believe that Hwil Hwheaton would understand that the problem lies with the writers and not him as a person. I would also think that he would be happier to know that not all of us only think of him as Wesley, but rather recognize what he has done with his life since TNG - his board game reviews/playthroughs are quite fun for me to watch, for example.
Don't mark it closed. It is so much fun. It shows the ridiculousness of dismissing for honor and bears out humor and smiles for everyone though great creativity. There is no insulting or bad things going on here. I say keep it up. No one is required to read this thread.
But as stated in the community guidelines we are required to be nice (edited to reflect what the community guidelines actually say) and thinking of ways for Wesley to die...not to nice, at the very least it should be moved to the holodeck.
Dear Mr. Jesus Is Lord,
I am attaching a copy of an entry I made on the first page of this thread to attempt to show you what you are missing in your interpretations of this thread. As you will no doubt conclude, your focus on the end result of AEC conversion is limited and short-sighted; this thread is about forcing ALL captains in this galaxy to realize that every decision they make regarding excess crew is cruel, heartless, cold, and unethical. Standing on a misguided pillar of morality is hypocritical, and if you insist on being upset about any of this, aim it where it belongs and not at this thread, where a bunch of us captains are attempting to use humor to cope with the trauma DB is imposing on us as we mercilessly slaughter our own crew for materialistic gain (ie "honor"). Please do not lobby to take away our only outlet for coping, your energy and effort would be better spent advocating for DB to offer us a humane alternative like an excess crew retirement home or something.
"
=====SCENARIO #1=====
Prisoner Michael Burnham: "Thank you for the rescue, I look forward to being a productive member of your crew."
CAPTAIN: "Actually, you are being 'dismissed'. I need Honor to buy a new shiny, and dismissing you is considered honorable apparently."
Prisoner Michael Burnham: "Can we talk about this? What does this process entail anyway?"
CAPTAIN: "No one can say for certain, but most experts believe it involves shoving people out of an airlock into the vacuum of space. I'm sure you'll be fine."
Prisoner Michael Burnham: "Well actually, that is not only 100% fatal but is an excruciatingly painful death."
CAPTAIN: "Oooh, tough break! Now, will you kindly stand in here for a moment?"
=====SCENARIO #2=====
CMO Bashir: "Boy, am I glad to see a crew of friendly faces, it's been quite an ordeal out here in the vast expanse waiting for rescue."
CAPTAIN: "It is an honor to be able to rescue someone of your great historic significance. Is there anything we can get for you?"
CMO Bashir: "Well I hesitate to ask but I have been out here a long time. I have lost all my equipment and could really benefit from as much training as you can spare, I fear my knowledge and skill have eroded while awaiting rescue."
CAPTAIN: "Absolutely, standby, we will bring you everything you asked for."
CMO Bashir: "Thank you so much Captain, it feels tremendous to have all my equipment back, and to know I am once again fully trained! I'm ready to return to duty, what are your orders, Sir?"
CAPTAIN: "I need you to come with me to this giant industrial freezer."
CMO Bashir: "Oh dear, was somebody injured in a freezer accident? Do we suspect hypothermia?!"
CAPTAIN: "No, I am going to freeze you forever in here. I'm sorry Doctor, but if I keep you frozen in here forever I can get a handful of dilithium and having you in here will make all my other medical people 1% better at their jobs."
CMO Bashir: "This is appalling!"
CAPTAIN: "Your objection is noted and should you accidentally be released from the freezer someday you are certainly able to file a grievance, but for now won't you be a good sport and come with me, please?"
=====SCENARIO #3=====
Acting Ensign Wesley Crusher: "That temporal anomaly is intense, I was in there with six other Acting Ensign Wesley Crushers! Thank you for the rescue BTW."
CAPTAIN: "Shut up, Wesley! I need you to stand on this transporter, your destiny is to become 43% of a one star science experiment."
Acting Ensign Wesley Crusher: "Why are you doing this?!"
CAPTAIN: "Would you rather spend eternity in a freezer or get shoved out an airlock? At least this way you will be making a contribution, your sacrifice will be noble and meaningful. Besides, I went to the Academy with a couple officers from the Enterprise D who were not at all happy with working for 8 years to earn their posting only to be replaced by an uppity, know-it-all, punk kid. I kind of owe those folks, so if you don't mind...."
Acting Ensign Wesley Crusher #2: "Oh geez, well I hope they turn me into a bowl of gagh."
Acting Ensign Wesley Crusher #3: "I'm sure they will, this new Fleet Commander Martok seems to need quite a few of them, they are only available from the KCA shop, and everyone's shuttles are needed elsewhere for the current event!"
"
I hope this has provided you with the clarity you deserve, and will help you understand why we need this thread. Thank you for participating in our discussion, and we hope that after some contemplation and reflection, you will join our ranks.
Sincerely,
Bylo Band
I do admit that in the beginning it was sort of funny, but it wasnt all aimed at Wesley. Kudos for thinking of the original idea but after a while i start feeling bad for Wesley. Ill just post one more thing before i (try my best) to stop commenting and raining on your parade, if Whil Weaton were to come to the stt forums and see this thread, what do you suspect he would think and feel? Place yourself in his shoes...
I would like to believe that Hwil Hwheaton would understand that the problem lies with the writers and not him as a person. I would also think that he would be happier to know that not all of us only think of him as Wesley, but rather recognize what he has done with his life since TNG - his board game reviews/playthroughs are quite fun for me to watch, for example.
Yes but (see...couldnt stay away lol) he wrote a tweet right before he deleted his twitter account saying that he didnt like all the people dissing on his role as wesley, and this to me is really dissing on him, now burnham and cmo bashir, i get it, common cards but please dont pick on wesley as much! Please, with a cherry on top!
Also i just found proof that dismissal doesnt involve shoving people out an airlock...but rather reassignment
Im guessing its based on how when Archer left his previous ship to captain Enterprise his former commanding officer promised him anything, he took the cook. Honor works sort of like that, you allow crew to be reassigned for stuff (honor) from other captains, closest thing to a trading system \_(°-°)_/
We know what the propaganda says happens. They get "reassigned." Yet have you heard the "reassigned" sound effects? Sounds like space doors to me. 😋
Exactly. "Reassigned" is the kind of language a parent uses to describe to a child where their dead pet went. "Don't worry Sweetheart, your pet scorpion has just been 'reassigned' to a dairy farm in Madagascar."
As for Acting Ensign Wesley Crusher, if Hwil Hweaton were playing this game he too would get fed up with the sheer volume of AECs he was getting from voyages, basic packs, etc and as a distinguished writer and Monty Python fan I'm certain he would at the very least appreciate the fine work we are doing here, if not outright help us come up with new and creative ways to convert the millions of human-tribbles that share his likeness into something useful.
I am pleased to announce the latest innovation from Replicator Idea Labs (TM, R, PP, C All Rights Reserved, Ltd)!
Has this ever happened to you? You are 6 hours into a voyage, you complete your third dilemma and your "reward" is yet another Acting Ensign Crusher, and you want very much to mail a shoe box full of random Neelix shavings to the game's programmers?
Well fear not, because we have a solution to this problem, look!
That's right, with this new exciting innovation, you will be able to convert your unwanted AECs DIRECTLY into anti-matter, to extend your voyage hopefully long enough to get a real reward!
I am pleased to announce the latest innovation from Replicator Idea Labs (TM, R, PP, C All Rights Reserved, Ltd)!
Has this ever happened to you? You are 6 hours into a voyage, you complete your third dilemma and your "reward" is yet another Acting Ensign Crusher, and you want very much to mail a shoe box full of random Neelix shavings to the game's programmers?
Well fear not, because we have a solution to this problem, look!
That's right, with this new exciting innovation, you will be able to convert your unwanted AECs DIRECTLY into anti-matter, to extend your voyage hopefully long enough to get a real reward!
Don't miss out, order yours today!
First of all, thank you for the satirical humor. I always appreciate a good smile, and reading your post made me smile because I couldn't help but hear it as if it were a late night infomercial. Creative, I liked that. With that aside, there's some good value in the idea.
Every voyage comes with a variety of rewards. Many we could use, though not all. Before the voyage ends, if we could select the individual reward and airlock it in exchange for am to keep the voyage going, we could invest or winnings for chance of doubling down on our bets. Great concept, OP!
To expand on that, let us select any of the rewards but not the crew, to exchange for antimatter. Since so many players airlock unwanted crew for honor points, exchanging them for antimatter might not be worth as much more often than not.
HIGH RANKING, HIGHLY SEXY FLEET SEEKS HOT & ACTIVE PEOPLE FOR SOME FUN PLAY.
Have you been naughty? Playing with yourself again? Has another fleet touched you in bad ways? Don’t worry, we will train you…. Gently. Light bondage only. Bring your own handcuffs, though…. We don’t supply them.
We’re not those other guys. Here we shower often, and we treat our members like family. We know how to whip some serious tail, yet no one is left to shiver out in the cold. If you need advice, help, strategy, tips or anything at all…. I and my officers are here to help you.
Currently, we're looking for more good people to enjoy the game with us, and we offer a TON to our members, in return. We prefer level 50 members and above. Lower level players than this will be considered on a case-by-case basis.
We use the DISCORD app for all our fleet chats (it's free). We're much better organized than many other top-tier fleets in the game, while a heck of a lot more relaxed and much more fun to be a part of. I have numerous other former fleet Admirals who joined me, and we have a world of knowledge and experience to share with you. Sure, we all love the game, and we enjoy playing it often; but we're also a fun family of kooky friends from around the world, who enjoy playing the game together. On top of playing, we also hang out often and share plenty of good laughs, an excellent supportive environment and one another's company.
It's OK if you don't play every day. You don’t have to be a daily player, but the more you play the more fun you’ll have with us. So long as you let me know ahead of time whenever you know you're going to be offline from the game for five days or more, I won't kick you for inactivity. You can send me that message on DISCORD at any time you need to; it takes only a moment. That rule helps keep our fleet as active as possible.
All Captains MUST have a name other than just “Captain” so that others may recognize you. We have no drama, but instead are a close-knit group of good people who treat each other as if we’re both friends & family.
WE’RE ALMOST ALL VERY HIGHLY ACTIVE, and help is never far whenever you might need it, at any stage of the game, nearly 24/7. Whatever your skill level, we can help you.
If you are interested in joining our fleet, please feel free to message me and I will be glad to assist you.
Free steak & Lobster available from our resident chef upon joining (alternate meal suggestions are possible), drinks available through our in-house bartender/barista/host. Please be sure to tip your wait staff. They're nuts, but they're worth it.
Security Chief Tuvok: Captain, sensors are detecting a shuttle on a long range scan.
Enterprise-E Picard: Can you see who is aboard, one more star and I will be immortal.
Ambassador Spock: Unfortunately the omicron radiation is interfering with our sensors.
Enterprise-E Picard: Data, boost the signal.
Emotion Chip Data: The little boosty knob broke off, and the signal is stuck at ten. I cannot turn it up to eleven.
Enterprise-E Picard: Well replicate a new one, do I have to think of everything around here.
North Star Tucker: We ran out of replicator rations on Friday, there is no way to turn the signal up to eleven.
Security Chief Tuvok: We will be in transporter range very shortly.
Enterprise-E Picard: Good beam our new guest straight to the bridge, I want to welcome our new guest, and hopefully that final star.
Acting Ensign Crusher materialises on the bridge holding a bowl of petunias.
Enterprise-E Picard: Oh no, not again.
Acting Ensign Crusher 3,783,345: Thankyou, life support was running....
Enterprise-E Picard: Beam him straight to the reclamator, I'm thirsty.
Acting Ensign Crusher and the bowl or petunias dematerialise.
Emotion Chip Data: Computer; replicate a new turny knob for boosty control, and make it sparkly.
Enterprise-E Picard: Computer; Tea; Earl Grey; Hot.
Emotion Chip Data (singing): Wesley Tea, Wesley Tea
Security Chief Tuvok: Captain, sensors are detecting a shuttle on a long range scan.
Enterprise-E Picard: Can you see who is aboard, one more star and I will be immortal.
Ambassador Spock: Unfortunately the omicron radiation is interfering with our sensors.
Enterprise-E Picard: Data, boost the signal.
Emotion Chip Data: The little boosty knob broke off, and the signal is stuck at ten. I cannot turn it up to eleven.
Enterprise-E Picard: Well replicate a new one, do I have to think of everything around here.
North Star Tucker: We ran out of replicator rations on Friday, there is no way to turn the signal up to eleven.
Security Chief Tuvok: We will be in transporter range very shortly.
Enterprise-E Picard: Good beam our new guest straight to the bridge, I want to welcome our new guest, and hopefully that final star.
Acting Ensign Crusher materialises on the bridge holding a bowl of petunias.
Enterprise-E Picard: Oh no, not again.
Acting Ensign Crusher 3,783,345: Thankyou, life support was running....
Enterprise-E Picard: Beam him straight to the reclamator, I'm thirsty.
Acting Ensign Crusher and the bowl or petunias dematerialise.
Emotion Chip Data: Computer; replicate a new turny knob for boosty control, and make it sparkly.
Enterprise-E Picard: Computer; Tea; Earl Grey; Hot.
Emotion Chip Data (singing): Wesley Tea, Wesley Tea
Very few people on the bridge overheard the petunias muttering "Oh no, not again..."
Security Chief Tuvok: Captain, sensors are detecting a shuttle on a long range scan.
Enterprise-E Picard: Can you see who is aboard, one more star and I will be immortal.
Ambassador Spock: Unfortunately the omicron radiation is interfering with our sensors.
Enterprise-E Picard: Data, boost the signal.
Emotion Chip Data: The little boosty knob broke off, and the signal is stuck at ten. I cannot turn it up to eleven.
Enterprise-E Picard: Well replicate a new one, do I have to think of everything around here.
North Star Tucker: We ran out of replicator rations on Friday, there is no way to turn the signal up to eleven.
Security Chief Tuvok: We will be in transporter range very shortly.
Enterprise-E Picard: Good beam our new guest straight to the bridge, I want to welcome our new guest, and hopefully that final star.
Acting Ensign Crusher materialises on the bridge holding a bowl of petunias.
Enterprise-E Picard: Oh no, not again.
Acting Ensign Crusher 3,783,345: Thankyou, life support was running....
Enterprise-E Picard: Beam him straight to the reclamator, I'm thirsty.
Acting Ensign Crusher and the bowl or petunias dematerialise.
Emotion Chip Data: Computer; replicate a new turny knob for boosty control, and make it sparkly.
Enterprise-E Picard: Computer; Tea; Earl Grey; Hot.
Emotion Chip Data (singing): Wesley Tea, Wesley Tea
Very few people on the bridge overheard the petunias muttering "Oh no, not again..."
How about this:
When your voyage runs out of antimatter it continues, automatically burning your voyage accrued resources, starting with the least valuable and then working its way up to dropped crew.
A logical solution:
With power failing, first, we "reclaim" the energy invested in inanimate objects, but then, as life support fails, the voyage-dropped crew "drop out" of the voyage!
Maximize emotional (and financial) player investment:
I'd also recommend adding a sound clip or two to go with the obligatory burn animation: a shout, a scream, a whimper...
I'd be in favor of a version of that. Currently when you open an unwanted crew from a pack you can click to dismiss them, I like your idea a lot with the caveat that unwanted crew found on voyages be "marked" for reclamation - ie you click their portrait and select an icon for replicator/anti-matter fuel - to spare the crew you want to save.
While going over the spoils of the last galactic event trying to make H.M.S. PINAFORE DATA popular *again*, the CAPTAIN's thoughts are interrupted by the chime at their Ready Room door.
CAPTAIN looks at the red digits above ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,346's head, they read 00:02:34 and dropped to 00:02:33.
CAPTAIN: What is it?
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,346: I'm not sure you are right.
CAPTAIN:
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,346:
CAPTAIN: First of all, don't question me, I'm the Captain.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,346: I'm sorry sir, but its been over six days, and no one has come for my reassignment.
CAPTAIN: Now now, don't fret. I would have airlockedreclaimed er, I mean re-purposed you for something else earlier, but apparently STARFLEET doesn't thing that is very "nice". So now we have to wait for another ship to join us in this VAST galaxy, and claim you for reassignment.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,346: Why are your words redacted?
CAPTAIN: Shut up Wesley.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,346:
CAPTAIN: As I was saying, now that this is a kinder, gentler starship, we have to wait for your reassignment.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,346: But I only have two minutes left!
CAPTAIN: Its true, but I'm SURE someone will come who is eager for your service.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,346: Really, do you think so??
CAPTAIN: No, not really.
The timer ticks to under one minute.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,346: I'm scared.
CAPTAIN: I wouldn't be, but I'm not you.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,346: Maybe my Mom could hel-
CAPTAIN: No, let's not start that gag again. In all fairness, I wish I had the space in my crew slots to bring you to active crew.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,346: Could you put some one in cryostasis, just to give me more time?
CAPTAIN: No, I need everyone at their stations. Besides, I'm trying to bring out Dominion and Andorians for next weekend.
*timer ticks down to 25 seconds*
CAPTAIN: Maybe we should move towards an airlock, you know to help move this pending reassignment along...
*timer ticks down to 15 seconds remaining*
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,346: CAPTAIN, I- I don't feel so good.
CAPTAIN: There, there, your new ship will be here soon.
*timer ticks down to 10 seconds remaining*
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,346: I- I don't wanna go!
*timer ticks down to 5 seconds, and ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,346 starts to flake away*
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,346: Hold me?
CAPTAIN: I don't like to touch Acting Ensigns with my bare hands, you know that.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,346: But CAPTAIN!
CAPTAIN: Starfleet wanted it this way...
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,346 whisps away into the ether of unclaimed crew.
CAPTAIN pauses as the timer reached zero, wondering what Honor he lost in this "humane" treatment.
CAPTAIN is interrupted by a chime at the ready room door.
CAPTAIN: Enter
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,347 enters with a timer above his head reading 00:00:30
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,347: CAPTAIN, I don't feel so good...
Seriously though, has anyone ever checked if you get the honor if a character expires in that unassigned void before Dismissing them?
In the immortal words of G.O.B. Bluth, "COME ON!!!"
This does showcase yet another egregious human rights violation within the confines of the game (seriously, is there no galactic equivalent of the Geneva Convention?! COME ON!!!), that being the buying of sentient beings and factions profiting from the sale of sentient beings - I realize in this case implying AECs are sentient is a bit of a stretch, but you get the general idea.
Et tu Spock? Have we been missing parenthetical text this entire time? "Live long, and prosper (through the selling of sentient beings)."
But seriously, 100 dilithium for 50% of a basic holoprogram?! COME ON!!!
CAPTAIN: *singing* A voyaging we'll go, a voyaging we'll go, High ho the merry oh a voyaging we-
CAPTAIN is interrupted by the chime of his door
CAPTAIN: Enter.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,348: CAPTAIN are we home yet?
CAPTAIN: We're only 8 hours in, and we picked you up from that abandoned cargo hold 2 hours ago.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,348: I was thinking this was a three hour tour.
CAPTAIN: I hated Gilligan's Island.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,348: Sir?
CAPTAIN: Shut up Wesley
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,348:
The two are interrupted by a chime at the door
CAPTAIN: Enter.
DRESS UNIFORM SCOTTY: Sir, you wanted to know if we were running out of Antimatter.
CAPTAIN: I did, yes.
DRESS UNIFORM SCOTTY: We're running out of Anitmatter, we're not gonna make it to the next dilemma.
CAPTAIN: DAMMIT, you know we're looking for ENSIGN PICARD, this is unacceptable!
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,348: Don't you mean [ENTERPRISE-D PICARD] "Captain Picard"
BOTH: SHUT UP WESLEY.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,348:
CAPTAIN: What are our options, DRESS UNIFORM SCOTTY?
DRESS UNIFORM SCOTTY: If we can get more antimatter, we might have a chance.
CAPTAIN looks at the replicator and thinks for a moment
CAPTAIN: What inventory have we accumulated in this voyage?
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,348: How would I know?
CAPTAIN: I don't know; I wasn't asking you!
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,348:
DRESS UNIFORM SCOTTY: Aye, we got some casings, tricorders, microconnectors, furs, templates...
CAPTAIN: I will eventually need all of those, what about Survivors
DRESS UNIFORM SCOTTY: Captain, you don't me ta-?
CAPTAIN: SCOTTY, how many ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHERS have you met?
DRESS UNIFORM SCOTTY: About three million, sir.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,348: Three million?
CAPTAIN: Closer to four. SCOTTY, do you think you can rig the transporters to convert straight to Anitmatter?
DRESS UNIFORM SCOTTY: Do ya mean-?
CAPTAIN: I know you know what happens to AECs once we return to the ship. So I am sure you can do whatever needs to be done, besides, I'm sure we found a bottle of scotch which could be "lost".
DRESS UNIFORM SCOTTY: *stands up straight and smiled* Aye Captain, I'm sure there could be.
CADET WESLEY CRUSHER: You asked to see me CAPTAIN?
CAPTAIN: Yes, Cadet, I wanted to let you know you are going to be getting a lot more attention and training in the next week.
CADET WESLEY CRUSHER: I don't understand sir.
CAPTAIN: I know that you have been neglected as of late, you have been fully fused, you watched three of your fellow selves vanish leaving you the single Super Rare among you, but you have remained ill equipped for awhile now, and I need you at Level 100 in less than a week.
CADET WESLEY CRUSHER: That sounds exciting sir!
CAPTAIN: If you were a pilot I would have activated you sooner. I'll be honest, it would be nice to open up crew space once we're done.
CADET WESLEY CRUSHER: Sir?
CAPTAIN: Nevermind, I would have stripped your pilot trait after that Nova Squadron mess also.
The conversation is interrupted as ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER #3,804,234 barges in
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER #3,804,234: CAPTAIN! CAPTAIN! Did you hear?!
CADET WESLEY CRUSHER: What the hell?
CAPTAIN: Don't worry, I'm used to this. What has gotten into you *acting* Ensign?
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER #3,804,234: The next event, I'm a Bonus Character!
CAPTAIN: And?
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER #3,804,234: That means I can help in the shuttle and galaxy missions!
CAPTAIN: And?
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER #3,804,234: That means you need me.
CAPTAIN: I would not jump to that conclusion.
CADET WESLEY CRUSHER: What is this other me talking about?
CAPTAIN: See, while you are a critical part of the mission next week, all versions of you have an advantage. Even 1-out-of-2 star boy wonder here.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER #3,804,234: I'm Uncommon!
CADET WESLEY CRUSHER: But his skills are much lower than-
CAPTAIN: I know, but we have another problem, ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER #3,804,234 is not part of the crew yet, I have 6 days to figure out what to do with him.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER #3,804,234: I'm sure I can help sir!
The CAPTAIN ponders a moment
CADET WESLEY CRUSHER: You don't think he's right, do you?"
CAPTAIN: What you don't know is we had to use up a lot of resources last week trying to keep the shuttle bay productive, and we will have to do it again. Shewt, we were renting shuttles because we were so busy. That taxed a lot of our systems.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER #3,804,234: I can help!
CADET WESLEY CRUSHER: Shut up Wesley
CAPTAIN:
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER #3,804,234:
CADET WESLEY CRUSHER: Wow, that was REALLY satisfying!
CAPTAIN: Careful, its like a drug.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER #3,804,234:
CAPTAIN: Anyways, I've decided. I'll have DATA THE FIFTH reprogram the replicators to re-purpose our AECs to Shuttle Rentals.
CADET WESLEY CRUSHER: How many do you have?
CAPTAIN: Not enough, but we picked up a few BOTANIST KEIKO's as well. Not as much value as an AEC, but better than accumulating a little honor.
FORMAL DRESS WESLEY CRUSHER starts clapping.
CADET WESLEY CRUSHER: Where did HE come from?
CAPTAIN: Oh him? He's always around, you just hardly see him. But he's hardly a Nemesis.
And Actually, I never learned why he came back after you left.
CADET WESLEY CRUSHER: Really?
CAPTAIN: I asked, he just doesn't talk.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER #3,804,234: I'm a prodigy.
CAPTAIN: And not a pilot either...
ENSIGN WESLEY CRUSHER enters holding a KTARIAN HEADSET
ENSIGN WESLEY CRUSHER: Why are we building these again?
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER #3,804,234: Can I see that?
CAPTAIN: Put that down! Have we not learned anything?
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,348: *holds his thumb and forefinger in a circle in a mock salute to his own forehead* Be seeing you CAPTAIN.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,348: Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.
CAPTAIN: And SCOTTY, put on some DAMN PANTS! This isn't a leisure tour.
A true Scotsman never wears pants, or anything else under his kilt.
(Not to Americans, in British English pants means underwear (shorts), what your call pants we call trousers)
Comments
[sat-ahyuh r]
noun
1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.
2. a literary composition, in verse or prose, in which human folly and vice are held up to scorn, derision, or ridicule.
3. a literary genre comprising such compositions.
Let's not take it too seriously folks!
Dear Mr. Jesus Is Lord,
I am attaching a copy of an entry I made on the first page of this thread to attempt to show you what you are missing in your interpretations of this thread. As you will no doubt conclude, your focus on the end result of AEC conversion is limited and short-sighted; this thread is about forcing ALL captains in this galaxy to realize that every decision they make regarding excess crew is cruel, heartless, cold, and unethical. Standing on a misguided pillar of morality is hypocritical, and if you insist on being upset about any of this, aim it where it belongs and not at this thread, where a bunch of us captains are attempting to use humor to cope with the trauma DB is imposing on us as we mercilessly slaughter our own crew for materialistic gain (ie "honor"). Please do not lobby to take away our only outlet for coping, your energy and effort would be better spent advocating for DB to offer us a humane alternative like an excess crew retirement home or something.
"
=====SCENARIO #1=====
Prisoner Michael Burnham: "Thank you for the rescue, I look forward to being a productive member of your crew."
CAPTAIN: "Actually, you are being 'dismissed'. I need Honor to buy a new shiny, and dismissing you is considered honorable apparently."
Prisoner Michael Burnham: "Can we talk about this? What does this process entail anyway?"
CAPTAIN: "No one can say for certain, but most experts believe it involves shoving people out of an airlock into the vacuum of space. I'm sure you'll be fine."
Prisoner Michael Burnham: "Well actually, that is not only 100% fatal but is an excruciatingly painful death."
CAPTAIN: "Oooh, tough break! Now, will you kindly stand in here for a moment?"
=====SCENARIO #2=====
CMO Bashir: "Boy, am I glad to see a crew of friendly faces, it's been quite an ordeal out here in the vast expanse waiting for rescue."
CAPTAIN: "It is an honor to be able to rescue someone of your great historic significance. Is there anything we can get for you?"
CMO Bashir: "Well I hesitate to ask but I have been out here a long time. I have lost all my equipment and could really benefit from as much training as you can spare, I fear my knowledge and skill have eroded while awaiting rescue."
CAPTAIN: "Absolutely, standby, we will bring you everything you asked for."
CMO Bashir: "Thank you so much Captain, it feels tremendous to have all my equipment back, and to know I am once again fully trained! I'm ready to return to duty, what are your orders, Sir?"
CAPTAIN: "I need you to come with me to this giant industrial freezer."
CMO Bashir: "Oh dear, was somebody injured in a freezer accident? Do we suspect hypothermia?!"
CAPTAIN: "No, I am going to freeze you forever in here. I'm sorry Doctor, but if I keep you frozen in here forever I can get a handful of dilithium and having you in here will make all my other medical people 1% better at their jobs."
CMO Bashir: "This is appalling!"
CAPTAIN: "Your objection is noted and should you accidentally be released from the freezer someday you are certainly able to file a grievance, but for now won't you be a good sport and come with me, please?"
=====SCENARIO #3=====
Acting Ensign Wesley Crusher: "That temporal anomaly is intense, I was in there with six other Acting Ensign Wesley Crushers! Thank you for the rescue BTW."
CAPTAIN: "Shut up, Wesley! I need you to stand on this transporter, your destiny is to become 43% of a one star science experiment."
Acting Ensign Wesley Crusher: "Why are you doing this?!"
CAPTAIN: "Would you rather spend eternity in a freezer or get shoved out an airlock? At least this way you will be making a contribution, your sacrifice will be noble and meaningful. Besides, I went to the Academy with a couple officers from the Enterprise D who were not at all happy with working for 8 years to earn their posting only to be replaced by an uppity, know-it-all, punk kid. I kind of owe those folks, so if you don't mind...."
Acting Ensign Wesley Crusher #2: "Oh geez, well I hope they turn me into a bowl of gagh."
Acting Ensign Wesley Crusher #3: "I'm sure they will, this new Fleet Commander Martok seems to need quite a few of them, they are only available from the KCA shop, and everyone's shuttles are needed elsewhere for the current event!"
"
I hope this has provided you with the clarity you deserve, and will help you understand why we need this thread. Thank you for participating in our discussion, and we hope that after some contemplation and reflection, you will join our ranks.
Sincerely,
Bylo Band
I do admit that in the beginning it was sort of funny, but it wasnt all aimed at Wesley. Kudos for thinking of the original idea but after a while i start feeling bad for Wesley. Ill just post one more thing before i (try my best) to stop commenting and raining on your parade, if Whil Weaton were to come to the stt forums and see this thread, what do you suspect he would think and feel? Place yourself in his shoes...
I would like to believe that Hwil Hwheaton would understand that the problem lies with the writers and not him as a person. I would also think that he would be happier to know that not all of us only think of him as Wesley, but rather recognize what he has done with his life since TNG - his board game reviews/playthroughs are quite fun for me to watch, for example.
Yes but (see...couldnt stay away lol) he wrote a tweet right before he deleted his twitter account saying that he didnt like all the people dissing on his role as wesley, and this to me is really dissing on him, now burnham and cmo bashir, i get it, common cards but please dont pick on wesley as much! Please, with a cherry on top!
Proud Former Officer of The Gluten Empire
Retired 12-14-20. So long, and thanks for all the cat pics!
Haha...but i like Harry too!
Im guessing its based on how when Archer left his previous ship to captain Enterprise his former commanding officer promised him anything, he took the cook. Honor works sort of like that, you allow crew to be reassigned for stuff (honor) from other captains, closest thing to a trading system \_(°-°)_/
Exactly. "Reassigned" is the kind of language a parent uses to describe to a child where their dead pet went. "Don't worry Sweetheart, your pet scorpion has just been 'reassigned' to a dairy farm in Madagascar."
As for Acting Ensign Wesley Crusher, if Hwil Hweaton were playing this game he too would get fed up with the sheer volume of AECs he was getting from voyages, basic packs, etc and as a distinguished writer and Monty Python fan I'm certain he would at the very least appreciate the fine work we are doing here, if not outright help us come up with new and creative ways to convert the millions of human-tribbles that share his likeness into something useful.
Yeah just like my childhood dog got 'reassigned' the farm when he got real old.
Has this ever happened to you? You are 6 hours into a voyage, you complete your third dilemma and your "reward" is yet another Acting Ensign Crusher, and you want very much to mail a shoe box full of random Neelix shavings to the game's programmers?
Well fear not, because we have a solution to this problem, look!
That's right, with this new exciting innovation, you will be able to convert your unwanted AECs DIRECTLY into anti-matter, to extend your voyage hopefully long enough to get a real reward!
Don't miss out, order yours today!
I love the idea.
First of all, thank you for the satirical humor. I always appreciate a good smile, and reading your post made me smile because I couldn't help but hear it as if it were a late night infomercial. Creative, I liked that. With that aside, there's some good value in the idea.
Every voyage comes with a variety of rewards. Many we could use, though not all. Before the voyage ends, if we could select the individual reward and airlock it in exchange for am to keep the voyage going, we could invest or winnings for chance of doubling down on our bets. Great concept, OP!
To expand on that, let us select any of the rewards but not the crew, to exchange for antimatter. Since so many players airlock unwanted crew for honor points, exchanging them for antimatter might not be worth as much more often than not.
Have you been naughty? Playing with yourself again? Has another fleet touched you in bad ways? Don’t worry, we will train you…. Gently. Light bondage only. Bring your own handcuffs, though…. We don’t supply them.
We’re not those other guys. Here we shower often, and we treat our members like family. We know how to whip some serious tail, yet no one is left to shiver out in the cold. If you need advice, help, strategy, tips or anything at all…. I and my officers are here to help you.
Currently, we're looking for more good people to enjoy the game with us, and we offer a TON to our members, in return. We prefer level 50 members and above. Lower level players than this will be considered on a case-by-case basis.
We use the DISCORD app for all our fleet chats (it's free). We're much better organized than many other top-tier fleets in the game, while a heck of a lot more relaxed and much more fun to be a part of. I have numerous other former fleet Admirals who joined me, and we have a world of knowledge and experience to share with you. Sure, we all love the game, and we enjoy playing it often; but we're also a fun family of kooky friends from around the world, who enjoy playing the game together. On top of playing, we also hang out often and share plenty of good laughs, an excellent supportive environment and one another's company.
It's OK if you don't play every day. You don’t have to be a daily player, but the more you play the more fun you’ll have with us. So long as you let me know ahead of time whenever you know you're going to be offline from the game for five days or more, I won't kick you for inactivity. You can send me that message on DISCORD at any time you need to; it takes only a moment. That rule helps keep our fleet as active as possible.
All Captains MUST have a name other than just “Captain” so that others may recognize you. We have no drama, but instead are a close-knit group of good people who treat each other as if we’re both friends & family.
WE’RE ALMOST ALL VERY HIGHLY ACTIVE, and help is never far whenever you might need it, at any stage of the game, nearly 24/7. Whatever your skill level, we can help you.
If you are interested in joining our fleet, please feel free to message me and I will be glad to assist you.
Free steak & Lobster available from our resident chef upon joining (alternate meal suggestions are possible), drinks available through our in-house bartender/barista/host. Please be sure to tip your wait staff. They're nuts, but they're worth it.
Enterprise-E Picard: Can you see who is aboard, one more star and I will be immortal.
Ambassador Spock: Unfortunately the omicron radiation is interfering with our sensors.
Enterprise-E Picard: Data, boost the signal.
Emotion Chip Data: The little boosty knob broke off, and the signal is stuck at ten. I cannot turn it up to eleven.
Enterprise-E Picard: Well replicate a new one, do I have to think of everything around here.
North Star Tucker: We ran out of replicator rations on Friday, there is no way to turn the signal up to eleven.
Security Chief Tuvok: We will be in transporter range very shortly.
Enterprise-E Picard: Good beam our new guest straight to the bridge, I want to welcome our new guest, and hopefully that final star.
Acting Ensign Crusher materialises on the bridge holding a bowl of petunias.
Enterprise-E Picard: Oh no, not again.
Acting Ensign Crusher 3,783,345: Thankyou, life support was running....
Enterprise-E Picard: Beam him straight to the reclamator, I'm thirsty.
Acting Ensign Crusher and the bowl or petunias dematerialise.
Emotion Chip Data: Computer; replicate a new turny knob for boosty control, and make it sparkly.
Enterprise-E Picard: Computer; Tea; Earl Grey; Hot.
Emotion Chip Data (singing): Wesley Tea, Wesley Tea
Very few people on the bridge overheard the petunias muttering "Oh no, not again..."
42
When your voyage runs out of antimatter it continues, automatically burning your voyage accrued resources, starting with the least valuable and then working its way up to dropped crew.
A logical solution:
With power failing, first, we "reclaim" the energy invested in inanimate objects, but then, as life support fails, the voyage-dropped crew "drop out" of the voyage!
Maximize emotional (and financial) player investment:
I'd also recommend adding a sound clip or two to go with the obligatory burn animation: a shout, a scream, a whimper...
CAPTAIN: Enter.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,346: CAPTAIN, I'm getting worried.
CAPTAIN looks at the red digits above ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,346's head, they read 00:02:34 and dropped to 00:02:33.
CAPTAIN: What is it?
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,346: I'm not sure you are right.
CAPTAIN:
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,346:
CAPTAIN: First of all, don't question me, I'm the Captain.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,346: I'm sorry sir, but its been over six days, and no one has come for my reassignment.
CAPTAIN: Now now, don't fret. I would have airlocked reclaimed er, I mean re-purposed you for something else earlier, but apparently STARFLEET doesn't thing that is very "nice". So now we have to wait for another ship to join us in this VAST galaxy, and claim you for reassignment.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,346: Why are your words redacted?
CAPTAIN: Shut up Wesley.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,346:
CAPTAIN: As I was saying, now that this is a kinder, gentler starship, we have to wait for your reassignment.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,346: But I only have two minutes left!
CAPTAIN: Its true, but I'm SURE someone will come who is eager for your service.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,346: Really, do you think so??
CAPTAIN: No, not really.
The timer ticks to under one minute.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,346: I'm scared.
CAPTAIN: I wouldn't be, but I'm not you.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,346: Maybe my Mom could hel-
CAPTAIN: No, let's not start that gag again. In all fairness, I wish I had the space in my crew slots to bring you to active crew.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,346: Could you put some one in cryostasis, just to give me more time?
CAPTAIN: No, I need everyone at their stations. Besides, I'm trying to bring out Dominion and Andorians for next weekend.
*timer ticks down to 25 seconds*
CAPTAIN: Maybe we should move towards an airlock, you know to help move this pending reassignment along...
*timer ticks down to 15 seconds remaining*
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,346: CAPTAIN, I- I don't feel so good.
CAPTAIN: There, there, your new ship will be here soon.
*timer ticks down to 10 seconds remaining*
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,346: I- I don't wanna go!
*timer ticks down to 5 seconds, and ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,346 starts to flake away*
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,346: Hold me?
CAPTAIN: I don't like to touch Acting Ensigns with my bare hands, you know that.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,346: But CAPTAIN!
CAPTAIN: Starfleet wanted it this way...
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,346 whisps away into the ether of unclaimed crew.
CAPTAIN pauses as the timer reached zero, wondering what Honor he lost in this "humane" treatment.
CAPTAIN is interrupted by a chime at the ready room door.
CAPTAIN: Enter
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,347 enters with a timer above his head reading 00:00:30
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,347: CAPTAIN, I don't feel so good...
Seriously though, has anyone ever checked if you get the honor if a character expires in that unassigned void before Dismissing them?
This does showcase yet another egregious human rights violation within the confines of the game (seriously, is there no galactic equivalent of the Geneva Convention?! COME ON!!!), that being the buying of sentient beings and factions profiting from the sale of sentient beings - I realize in this case implying AECs are sentient is a bit of a stretch, but you get the general idea.
Et tu Spock? Have we been missing parenthetical text this entire time? "Live long, and prosper (through the selling of sentient beings)."
But seriously, 100 dilithium for 50% of a basic holoprogram?! COME ON!!!
CAPTAIN is interrupted by the chime of his door
CAPTAIN: Enter.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,348: CAPTAIN are we home yet?
CAPTAIN: We're only 8 hours in, and we picked you up from that abandoned cargo hold 2 hours ago.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,348: I was thinking this was a three hour tour.
CAPTAIN: I hated Gilligan's Island.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,348: Sir?
CAPTAIN: Shut up Wesley
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,348:
The two are interrupted by a chime at the door
CAPTAIN: Enter.
DRESS UNIFORM SCOTTY: Sir, you wanted to know if we were running out of Antimatter.
CAPTAIN: I did, yes.
DRESS UNIFORM SCOTTY: We're running out of Anitmatter, we're not gonna make it to the next dilemma.
CAPTAIN: DAMMIT, you know we're looking for ENSIGN PICARD, this is unacceptable!
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,348: Don't you mean [ENTERPRISE-D PICARD] "Captain Picard"
BOTH: SHUT UP WESLEY.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,348:
CAPTAIN: What are our options, DRESS UNIFORM SCOTTY?
DRESS UNIFORM SCOTTY: If we can get more antimatter, we might have a chance.
CAPTAIN looks at the replicator and thinks for a moment
CAPTAIN: What inventory have we accumulated in this voyage?
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,348: How would I know?
CAPTAIN: I don't know; I wasn't asking you!
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,348:
DRESS UNIFORM SCOTTY: Aye, we got some casings, tricorders, microconnectors, furs, templates...
CAPTAIN: I will eventually need all of those, what about Survivors
DRESS UNIFORM SCOTTY: Captain, you don't me ta-?
CAPTAIN: SCOTTY, how many ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHERS have you met?
DRESS UNIFORM SCOTTY: About three million, sir.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,348: Three million?
CAPTAIN: Closer to four. SCOTTY, do you think you can rig the transporters to convert straight to Anitmatter?
DRESS UNIFORM SCOTTY: Do ya mean-?
CAPTAIN: I know you know what happens to AECs once we return to the ship. So I am sure you can do whatever needs to be done, besides, I'm sure we found a bottle of scotch which could be "lost".
DRESS UNIFORM SCOTTY: *stands up straight and smiled* Aye Captain, I'm sure there could be.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,348: Wait? What? Scotch?
DRESS UNIFORM SCOTTY leaves to make preparations
CAPTAIN: We might just make through this...
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,348: Sir, I'm confused.
CAPTAIN: It's not the first time, trust me. In all the abandoned cargo hold in all the galaxy you had to end up in mine.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,348: Technically, I'm saving your voyage right?
CAPTAIN: Wait, have you been reading my screenplays?
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,348:
CAPTAIN:
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,348:
CAPTAIN: Dammit, you who are about to die are right.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,348: Maybe you will think differently about ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,349
The conversation is interrupted by DRESS UNIFORM SCOTTY
DRESS UNIFORM SCOTTY: The modifications are ready, CAPTAIN.
CAPTAIN: Very well, proceed.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,348: *holds his thumb and forefinger in a circle in a mock salute to his own forehead* Be seeing you CAPTAIN.
CAPTAIN:
DRESS UNIFORM SCOTTY and ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,348 leave, but before the doors close
CAPTAIN: And SCOTTY, put on some DAMN PANTS! This isn't a leisure tour.
CAPTAIN: Yes, Cadet, I wanted to let you know you are going to be getting a lot more attention and training in the next week.
CADET WESLEY CRUSHER: I don't understand sir.
CAPTAIN: I know that you have been neglected as of late, you have been fully fused, you watched three of your fellow selves vanish leaving you the single Super Rare among you, but you have remained ill equipped for awhile now, and I need you at Level 100 in less than a week.
CADET WESLEY CRUSHER: That sounds exciting sir!
CAPTAIN: If you were a pilot I would have activated you sooner. I'll be honest, it would be nice to open up crew space once we're done.
CADET WESLEY CRUSHER: Sir?
CAPTAIN: Nevermind, I would have stripped your pilot trait after that Nova Squadron mess also.
The conversation is interrupted as ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER #3,804,234 barges in
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER #3,804,234: CAPTAIN! CAPTAIN! Did you hear?!
CADET WESLEY CRUSHER: What the hell?
CAPTAIN: Don't worry, I'm used to this. What has gotten into you *acting* Ensign?
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER #3,804,234: The next event, I'm a Bonus Character!
CAPTAIN: And?
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER #3,804,234: That means I can help in the shuttle and galaxy missions!
CAPTAIN: And?
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER #3,804,234: That means you need me.
CAPTAIN: I would not jump to that conclusion.
CADET WESLEY CRUSHER: What is this other me talking about?
CAPTAIN: See, while you are a critical part of the mission next week, all versions of you have an advantage. Even 1-out-of-2 star boy wonder here.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER #3,804,234: I'm Uncommon!
CADET WESLEY CRUSHER: But his skills are much lower than-
CAPTAIN: I know, but we have another problem, ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER #3,804,234 is not part of the crew yet, I have 6 days to figure out what to do with him.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER #3,804,234: I'm sure I can help sir!
The CAPTAIN ponders a moment
CADET WESLEY CRUSHER: You don't think he's right, do you?"
CAPTAIN: What you don't know is we had to use up a lot of resources last week trying to keep the shuttle bay productive, and we will have to do it again. Shewt, we were renting shuttles because we were so busy. That taxed a lot of our systems.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER #3,804,234: I can help!
CADET WESLEY CRUSHER: Shut up Wesley
CAPTAIN:
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER #3,804,234:
CADET WESLEY CRUSHER: Wow, that was REALLY satisfying!
CAPTAIN: Careful, its like a drug.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER #3,804,234:
CAPTAIN: Anyways, I've decided. I'll have DATA THE FIFTH reprogram the replicators to re-purpose our AECs to Shuttle Rentals.
CADET WESLEY CRUSHER: How many do you have?
CAPTAIN: Not enough, but we picked up a few BOTANIST KEIKO's as well. Not as much value as an AEC, but better than accumulating a little honor.
FORMAL DRESS WESLEY CRUSHER starts clapping.
CADET WESLEY CRUSHER: Where did HE come from?
CAPTAIN: Oh him? He's always around, you just hardly see him. But he's hardly a Nemesis.
And Actually, I never learned why he came back after you left.
CADET WESLEY CRUSHER: Really?
CAPTAIN: I asked, he just doesn't talk.
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER #3,804,234: I'm a prodigy.
CAPTAIN: And not a pilot either...
ENSIGN WESLEY CRUSHER enters holding a KTARIAN HEADSET
ENSIGN WESLEY CRUSHER: Why are we building these again?
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER #3,804,234: Can I see that?
CAPTAIN: Put that down! Have we not learned anything?
ACTING ENSIGN CRUSHER 3,783,348: Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.
A true Scotsman never wears pants, or anything else under his kilt.
(Not to Americans, in British English pants means underwear (shorts), what your call pants we call trousers)