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Witty Crew Card Nicknames

Some of the cards lend themselves to very witty and entertaining nicknames. I'd like to hear what you all got. To be clear, no need to include names that simply clarify which version of the character it is. For instance, Protomorphosis Barclay - Spider Barclay. The wittier the better! To get started, these are some of them that I've seen and heard that have made me chuckle.

Smitten Jean-Luc Picard - WTF Picard
Solar Sails Sisko - Drake
Racquetball Bashir - Zoolander Bashir
Bell Riots Bashir - Darth Bashir (Although I find that he resembles the Emperor more)
Command Wrap Kirk - Constipated Kirk

Gimmie your best!
"I would have told him anything. Anything at all. But more than that, I believed that I could see...five lights."
~Captain Picard ST:TNG Chain of Command

Link to my list of helpful spreadsheets, websites, threads, and help for all players!

ST:TNG Crew Addition Wish List:

Mariachi Q - Déjà Q Quote - But I feel like celebrating! - Thank You!
H.M.S. Pinafore Data - Insurrection Quote - And his fist be ever ready for a knockdown blow. - Thank You!
Rascal Picard/Guinan - Rascals Quote - I want to see my father!
Kivas Fajo - The Most Toys Quote - What a marvelous contradiction. A military pacifist!
Batai - The Inner Light Quote - This tree is our symbol. Our affirmation of life.
Irumodic Syndrome Picard - All Good Things Quote - You said it was earl grey. I'd swear it was darjeeling. - Thank You!
B-4 - Nemesis Quote - Why do you have a shiny head? - Thank You!
Zero G Worf - First Contact Quote - Assimilate this!
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Comments

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    Some in my fleet refer to Romulan Kirk as eye shadow Kirk. There are others but I can't recall them at this time.
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    KaiteeKaitee ✭✭✭✭✭
    They're not particularly witty, but...

    Protomorphosis Worf - Protoworfosis or Wereworf
    Admiral Cornwall - Admiral Bob (stolen from Greatest Discovery)
    Dr Russell - Hillary
    Mirror Janeway - Hawke (it's the scarf)
    Okona - Rocketeer
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    KDF Gowron: Googly Eyed Gowron
    I know I've seen other people on the forums refer to War correspondent Jake Sisko as "BEES!!" Jake Sisko.
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    [7TW] UnkieB[7TW] UnkieB ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited June 2018
    23rd Century Martok - Potatok or Potato Head
    Assimilated Janeway - Assway
    The Caretaker - Banjo Man
    Mirror Picard - Peccard
    Ensign Chekov - Davy Jones
    Ensign Tuvok - Teavok
    Rura Penthe Reed - Christmas Tree Reed
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    Banjo1012Banjo1012 ✭✭✭✭✭
    23rd Century Martok - Potatok or Potato Head
    Assimilated Janeway - Assway
    The Caretaker - Banjo Man
    Mirror Picard - Peccard
    Ensign Chekov - Davy Jones
    Ensign Tuvok - Teavok

    Davey Jones. That’s hilarious!!!

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    Platonian Kirk - Nipple Kirk
    Angel I Riker - Fancy Pants Riker
    Undercover Tuvok - Tuvok Shakur
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    Banjo1012 wrote: »
    Commander Kelby - my cousin Chay7av18vgcxuea.jpeg
    ccu3iglsshdz.jpeg

    Wow!! I see the resemblance!
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    Banjo1012Banjo1012 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Banjo1012 wrote: »
    Commander Kelby - my cousin Chay7av18vgcxuea.jpeg
    ccu3iglsshdz.jpeg

    Wow!! I see the resemblance!

    It’s uncanny. I couldn’t find a better shot of him but they are twins

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    Banjo1012Banjo1012 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited June 2018
    Perhaps this one?g1ofvzip5dmc.jpeg
    dd2fass9wi3b.jpeg
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    Marko RamiusMarko Ramius ✭✭✭
    edited June 2018
    Undercover Tuvok - Tuvok Shakur

    This may be the best one that I've seen yet.
    "I'd love to go back to when we played as kids, but things changed... and that's the way it is."

    Data1001 wrote: »
    Definitely more "stupid" than "witty", but I occasionally refer to Mother Horta as Pizza The Hut.

    Another witty win for @Data1001
    "Otherwise PIZZA is gonna send out... for YOU!"

    Ensign Chekov - Davy Jones
    Ensign Tuvok - Teavok
    Rura Penthe Reed - Christmas Tree Reed

    Gold.

    Kaitee wrote: »
    Dr Russell - Hillary

    I'll never be able to unsee this. haha

    "I would have told him anything. Anything at all. But more than that, I believed that I could see...five lights."
    ~Captain Picard ST:TNG Chain of Command

    Link to my list of helpful spreadsheets, websites, threads, and help for all players!

    ST:TNG Crew Addition Wish List:

    Mariachi Q - Déjà Q Quote - But I feel like celebrating! - Thank You!
    H.M.S. Pinafore Data - Insurrection Quote - And his fist be ever ready for a knockdown blow. - Thank You!
    Rascal Picard/Guinan - Rascals Quote - I want to see my father!
    Kivas Fajo - The Most Toys Quote - What a marvelous contradiction. A military pacifist!
    Batai - The Inner Light Quote - This tree is our symbol. Our affirmation of life.
    Irumodic Syndrome Picard - All Good Things Quote - You said it was earl grey. I'd swear it was darjeeling. - Thank You!
    B-4 - Nemesis Quote - Why do you have a shiny head? - Thank You!
    Zero G Worf - First Contact Quote - Assimilate this!
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    Mirror Reed = David Duchovny
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    Mirror Reed = David Duchovny

    There is an uncanny resemblance, although I think Fox Mulder would be wittier. haha
    "I would have told him anything. Anything at all. But more than that, I believed that I could see...five lights."
    ~Captain Picard ST:TNG Chain of Command

    Link to my list of helpful spreadsheets, websites, threads, and help for all players!

    ST:TNG Crew Addition Wish List:

    Mariachi Q - Déjà Q Quote - But I feel like celebrating! - Thank You!
    H.M.S. Pinafore Data - Insurrection Quote - And his fist be ever ready for a knockdown blow. - Thank You!
    Rascal Picard/Guinan - Rascals Quote - I want to see my father!
    Kivas Fajo - The Most Toys Quote - What a marvelous contradiction. A military pacifist!
    Batai - The Inner Light Quote - This tree is our symbol. Our affirmation of life.
    Irumodic Syndrome Picard - All Good Things Quote - You said it was earl grey. I'd swear it was darjeeling. - Thank You!
    B-4 - Nemesis Quote - Why do you have a shiny head? - Thank You!
    Zero G Worf - First Contact Quote - Assimilate this!
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    Marko RamiusMarko Ramius ✭✭✭
    edited June 2018
    Mirror Reed = David Duchovny

    There is an uncanny resemblance, although I think Fox Mulder would be wittier. haha
    "I would have told him anything. Anything at all. But more than that, I believed that I could see...five lights."
    ~Captain Picard ST:TNG Chain of Command

    Link to my list of helpful spreadsheets, websites, threads, and help for all players!

    ST:TNG Crew Addition Wish List:

    Mariachi Q - Déjà Q Quote - But I feel like celebrating! - Thank You!
    H.M.S. Pinafore Data - Insurrection Quote - And his fist be ever ready for a knockdown blow. - Thank You!
    Rascal Picard/Guinan - Rascals Quote - I want to see my father!
    Kivas Fajo - The Most Toys Quote - What a marvelous contradiction. A military pacifist!
    Batai - The Inner Light Quote - This tree is our symbol. Our affirmation of life.
    Irumodic Syndrome Picard - All Good Things Quote - You said it was earl grey. I'd swear it was darjeeling. - Thank You!
    B-4 - Nemesis Quote - Why do you have a shiny head? - Thank You!
    Zero G Worf - First Contact Quote - Assimilate this!
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    Peachtree RexPeachtree Rex ✭✭✭✭✭
    Assimilated La Forge = Borgi
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    [SSR] GTMET[SSR] GTMET ✭✭✭✭✭
    Russell and Hillary are clones for sure
    Mirror Picard - Papa Smurf, Gun Show Picard
    Suus Mahna Sarek - Mu Shu Sarek
    Mintakan Riker - Kiebler Elf Riker
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    S14 Bri S14 Bri ✭✭✭
    Mirror Data - Christopher Walken Data
    Suus Mahna Sarek - Kung Fu Sarek
    Surak - Gwyneth Paltrow
    1701 Sisko - Roy Jones Jnr
    Kohlinar Spock - Chinese Jesus Spock
    Mirror Vic Fontaine - Barry Manilow
    Richard Castillo - Shooter Mcgavin
    Mirror Geordie - Wesley Snipes Geordie
    Ardra - Transvestite
    Mirror Janeway - biker chick Janeway
    Mirror Tucker - Zombie Tucker

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    [SSR] GTMET[SSR] GTMET ✭✭✭✭✭
    Oh, and I forgot one more:
    Augment Riker - Emo Riker
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    Admiral Nechayev - Admiral Bossypants
    Prisoner O'Brien - Hobo'brien

    I always called Rura Penthe Reed Christmas Treed,
    They say time is the fire in which we burn.
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    EtienneEtienne ✭✭✭
    edited June 2018
    Mother Horta = Marjory the Trash Heap (ref. Fraggle Rock)
    Mirror Picard = Village people Picard
    Will Scarlet = Christmas Worf
    Georgiou = Captain Dinner
    Malik = Billy (he just looks like a Billy)
    T'mir= the Tupperware lady
    Commander Barak = The Kilingon from the Black lagoon
    Commander Tomalak =Frankenstein
    Commander Keras = Romulan Sarek
    Prospect Miichael Burnham = Roxanne (because of the red dress)
    Captain Janeway is of course Coffee Janeway
    Orion Slaver = Mirror Gumby
    Tourist Quark = Jamaharan Quark

    That's all I can think of for now but I am sure I have others
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    DralixDralix ✭✭✭✭✭
    Platonian Kirk - Nipple Kirk

    I've always used Nipples Kirk for Kal-if-fee.
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    [S14] Elynduil[S14] Elynduil ✭✭✭✭
    edited June 2018
    Etienne wrote: »
    T'mir= the Tupperware lady

    Classic :lol:

    I'd like to make "Zombie Malik" happen, but the fact that there's only one version of him kinda sabotages it.

    Also, not mine, but I quite enjoyed "Captain Thiccness". :smirk:
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    DavideBooksDavideBooks ✭✭✭✭✭
    I refer to Mirror LaForge as Pimp Daddy. Someone came up with that long ago and I liked it. They also called Mirror Troi Streetwalker Troi, but I didn't get her.
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    Captain QCaptain Q ✭✭✭
    Bell Riots Bashir = Darth Bashidious
    Mirror Reed = Mirror Mulder
    Arex Na Eth + Kohlinar Spock = Scooby and Shaggy
    Arex Na Eth + Kohlinar Spock + Nog = Scooby, Shaggy, and Scrappy
    In the immortal words of Spock: "Live long and prosper"
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    DavideBooksDavideBooks ✭✭✭✭✭
    Don't forget Fun Sponge Burnham. That is more for how she was introduced as a totalitarian psychopathic emotional drain on the universe than on looks.
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    DavideBooksDavideBooks ✭✭✭✭✭
    I may be the only one, but I think Augment Riker looks like he should be called Iron Man Riker. Or perhaps Augment Tony Stark.
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    IronagedaveIronagedave ✭✭✭✭✭
    Cavity Inspector Chakotay - Warship Chakotay
    [was on Sabbatical/Hiatus] Currently a trialist at Galaxy SquadronSTAY SAFE and KBO
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